He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize