he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Randomize
