We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
