There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
