so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I could make wine with my vomit
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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