i was born a porn star she said
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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