I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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