i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
