btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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