All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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