I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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