I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
