we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize