Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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