I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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