Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I want to be your penis for a week.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
