Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Randomize
