he thought i was a dude.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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