Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize