google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
