This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
