i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
