i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
