who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
