I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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