we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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