if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
