i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
