I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
