i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
