tell your sister to shave her snatch
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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