can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i permit you to call me
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
