I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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