Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize