i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
