Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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