Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
