so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
