hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
