I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I intend to get homeless drunk
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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