a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am naked and annoyed.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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