The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
