i barfeds in our rink
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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