This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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