I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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