I just pynch a tree in the face
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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