I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
