Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
