You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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