I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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