i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
that's an acceptable place to lick
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
