There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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