we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
