Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
