in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
