I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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