he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I have feelings that need drinking.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize