he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
