508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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