he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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