Non-Jews are for practice
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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