Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
