I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
