i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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