someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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