well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
