Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
