have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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