Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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