he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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